Tag Archives: Poly/Mono

What Is Functional Monogamy?

Hi Page,

I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?

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Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time.  » Read more

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You Can Be More Than One Thing, Even If People Keep Trying to Make You Pick Which One Is “Real”

Page   February 27, 2019   Comments Off on You Can Be More Than One Thing, Even If People Keep Trying to Make You Pick Which One Is “Real”

I know I write pretty frequently about polyamory, but as anyone who reads me or follows me on social media for a while knows, polyamory is far from the only thing I write or post about.

And while this site might be called Poly Land, I’m not only interested in polyamory.  » Read more

The post You Can Be More Than One Thing, Even If People Keep Trying to Make You Pick Which One Is “Real” appeared first on Poly.Land.

“I’m Sorry, But I Have a Boyfriend”

Page   January 24, 2019   Comments Off on “I’m Sorry, But I Have a Boyfriend”

Growing up, I had a really hard time saying no. Even when it was the appropriate response, it felt harsh coming out of my mouth. Wrong.

Like a lot of women, I’d been raised to default to compliance. Going along with whatever other people wanted. It was part of blending in. Being liked.  » Read more

The post “I’m Sorry, But I Have a Boyfriend” appeared first on Poly.Land.

Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

Page   October 29, 2018   Comments Off on Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

There are some people who say that polyamory is objectively way easier than monogamy (or, the less far less commonly used term monamory, the desire or practice of having a single intimate relationship at a time, which is perhaps a more accurate opposite).

They insist that polyamory more closely mimics our natural state or that it’s simply easier to manage.  » Read more

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Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why

Page   October 25, 2018   Comments Off on Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why

“You know, Page,” she says. “Polyamory sounds so great in theory. It’s just…I can’t get past one thing: Even considering polyamory makes me feel so selfish.”

She brings up her own partner and says she imagines they might be uncomfortable with her having other lovers. She hasn’t asked them or anything, she says.  » Read more

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Monogamy as a Choice Rather Than a Default: Do We Really Need Yet Another Way to Be Incompatible?

Page   May 28, 2018   Comments Off on Monogamy as a Choice Rather Than a Default: Do We Really Need Yet Another Way to Be Incompatible?

Hi Page,

I’ve been reading your blog for several months now. I like your writing because I feel like you talk about polyamory and monogamy in ways that are realistic and like you can understand a person pursuing either relationship style, so long as people are treating each other in a healthy way.   » Read more

The post Monogamy as a Choice Rather Than a Default: Do We Really Need Yet Another Way to Be Incompatible? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement?

Page   April 29, 2018   Comments Off on PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement?

PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement?

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It’s not at all uncommon when someone is new to polyamory for them to want additional considerations in place, measures that, in effect,  » Read more

The post PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?

Page   April 22, 2018   Comments Off on PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?

PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?

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It’s been a long time since I tried to date anyone who identified as monogamous. Really not since I was first polyamorous. And the reason for that back then was that I didn’t know that many other polyamorous people.  » Read more

The post PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory? appeared first on Poly.Land.

Without Polyamory, I Probably Never Would Have Dated My Husband

Page   March 22, 2018   Comments Off on Without Polyamory, I Probably Never Would Have Dated My Husband

I adore my husband. He loves and supports me so much that it humbles me. He’s raised my standards for what I believed was possible in love and relationships.

And perhaps the most amazing part of the whole experience of finding him is this: I probably wouldn’t have dated him when I was monogamous.  » Read more

The post Without Polyamory, I Probably Never Would Have Dated My Husband appeared first on Poly.Land.

I Wasn’t Always Polyamorous. Dating Was Like a Game of Musical Chairs.

Page   January 9, 2018   Comments Off on I Wasn’t Always Polyamorous. Dating Was Like a Game of Musical Chairs.

I often feel very alien when I find myself amongst a a pack of other polyamorous educators. It’s very common to hear a familiar story from them: They’ve always been polyamorous. Monogamy never seemed quite right to them. They went through life framing relationships in a different way than other people. Conducting themselves polyamorously before they knew the word.  » Read more

The post I Wasn’t Always Polyamorous. Dating Was Like a Game of Musical Chairs. appeared first on Poly.Land.