Tag Archives: Poly/Mono

Why Non-Toxic Monogamy Is a Beautiful Thing & Why Yes = No, No = Yes

Even though I run a site called Poly.Land, sometimes people are surprised to find out that these days I don’t consider myself to be primarily polyamorous per se — but ambiamorous.

I’ve written about ambiamory many times on this site, for example:

To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum,  » Read more

The post Why Non-Toxic Monogamy Is a Beautiful Thing & Why Yes = No, No = Yes appeared first on Poly.Land.

“Have You Ever Wanted to Give Up on Polyamory?”

Hey there! I’m new to poly, I’ve only been doing it for less than a year. I’ve been following your writings for that time and they’ve been a great help.

I still struggle with jealousy though, anxiety attacks, and just generally feeling terrible when my partner goes to explore new connections.  » Read more

The post “Have You Ever Wanted to Give Up on Polyamory?” appeared first on Poly.Land.

What Is Functional Monogamy?

Page   August 5, 2019   Comments Off on What Is Functional Monogamy?

Hi Page,

I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?

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Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time.  » Read more

The post What Is Functional Monogamy? appeared first on Poly.Land.

You Can Be More Than One Thing, Even If People Keep Trying to Make You Pick Which One Is “Real”

Page   February 27, 2019   Comments Off on You Can Be More Than One Thing, Even If People Keep Trying to Make You Pick Which One Is “Real”

I know I write pretty frequently about polyamory, but as anyone who reads me or follows me on social media for a while knows, polyamory is far from the only thing I write or post about.

And while this site might be called Poly Land, I’m not only interested in polyamory.  » Read more

The post You Can Be More Than One Thing, Even If People Keep Trying to Make You Pick Which One Is “Real” appeared first on Poly.Land.

“I’m Sorry, But I Have a Boyfriend”

Page   January 24, 2019   Comments Off on “I’m Sorry, But I Have a Boyfriend”

Growing up, I had a really hard time saying no. Even when it was the appropriate response, it felt harsh coming out of my mouth. Wrong.

Like a lot of women, I’d been raised to default to compliance. Going along with whatever other people wanted. It was part of blending in. Being liked.  » Read more

The post “I’m Sorry, But I Have a Boyfriend” appeared first on Poly.Land.

Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

Page   October 29, 2018   Comments Off on Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

There are some people who say that polyamory is objectively way easier than monogamy (or, the less far less commonly used term monamory, the desire or practice of having a single intimate relationship at a time, which is perhaps a more accurate opposite).

They insist that polyamory more closely mimics our natural state or that it’s simply easier to manage.  » Read more

The post Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing appeared first on Poly.Land.

Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why

Page   October 25, 2018   Comments Off on Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why

“You know, Page,” she says. “Polyamory sounds so great in theory. It’s just…I can’t get past one thing: Even considering polyamory makes me feel so selfish.”

She brings up her own partner and says she imagines they might be uncomfortable with her having other lovers. She hasn’t asked them or anything, she says.  » Read more

The post Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why appeared first on Poly.Land.

Monogamy as a Choice Rather Than a Default: Do We Really Need Yet Another Way to Be Incompatible?

Page   May 28, 2018   Comments Off on Monogamy as a Choice Rather Than a Default: Do We Really Need Yet Another Way to Be Incompatible?

Hi Page,

I’ve been reading your blog for several months now. I like your writing because I feel like you talk about polyamory and monogamy in ways that are realistic and like you can understand a person pursuing either relationship style, so long as people are treating each other in a healthy way.   » Read more

The post Monogamy as a Choice Rather Than a Default: Do We Really Need Yet Another Way to Be Incompatible? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement?

Page   April 29, 2018   Comments Off on PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement?

PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement?

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It’s not at all uncommon when someone is new to polyamory for them to want additional considerations in place, measures that, in effect,  » Read more

The post PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?

Page   April 22, 2018   Comments Off on PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?

PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?

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It’s been a long time since I tried to date anyone who identified as monogamous. Really not since I was first polyamorous. And the reason for that back then was that I didn’t know that many other polyamorous people.  » Read more

The post PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory? appeared first on Poly.Land.