One of the most common questions I run into as I talk with polyamorous folks and frequent forums is: Why do poly people get upset when you call them swingers? What’s so bad about being a swinger?
I’ve struggled with this question a lot myself. I used to get really upset when people would call me a swinger. » Read more
The post Body Polytic: Why Poly People Don’t Like Being Called Swingers appeared first on Poly.Land.
A lot of us are guilty of giving poly honor student answers.
“You’re poly?” we’re asked. “Aren’t you worried about diseases?”
And we answer with the standard-issue Poly Honor Student answer, which goes a little something like this: “Of course we are, but we all practice safe sex and are regularly tested.”
Of course, » Read more
The post Poly Honor Student Answers: Defensiveness and Stigma appeared first on Poly.Land.
“There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.”
Just about everyone has heard of the placebo effect.
Nocebo effect, on the other hand, is far less widely known.
Nocebo effect is the opposite of placebo effect. It’s the belief that we’re being exposed to harmful substances when in fact we are not, » Read more
The post Nocebo? No Thanks appeared first on Poly.Land.
Photo by mattw1ls0n / CC BY
I wrote recently about attachment styles and how they come into play during relationships. In that post, I mentioned that the most difficult combination occurs when a person with anxious attachment is in a relationship with someone whose attachment style is avoidant. » Read more
Photo by Gustaaf Prins / CCBY
Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.
I was on fire again. Staring at Seth, watching him sleep.
I wished I could sleep, » Read more
Photo by Ben Salter / CC BY
“Just so we’re clear,” Don said. “You’ll never be as close to me as my wife. Not that there’s anything wrong with you. You’re lovely, don’t get me wrong.”
“Okay,” I said.
“No one will,” he continued.
I wondered why he was even telling me this. » Read more
It’s a familiar story – you start a new job. You’re nervous at first because you don’t know how you’re going to master everything they throw your way, but you put in effort, work hard, and persevere. It’s a struggle, but eventually you’ve got the hang of it. It may have felt like forever to you – but everyone’s so impressed by how quickly you picked it up and how well you’re doing. » Read more
Photo by wooleywonderworks/CC BY
I am open to whatever configuration makes the most sense logistically and given the personalities of all involved.
It seems like folly to decide what structure I’m going to build without first having the component parts in hand.
Besides, every time I have tried to come up with some kind of tentative plan, » Read more