Tag Archives: monogamy

“I’m a Polyamorous Person Who Keeps Compromising by Having Monogamous Relationships & Feeling Bad. Why?”

Page   December 28, 2020   Comments Off on “I’m a Polyamorous Person Who Keeps Compromising by Having Monogamous Relationships & Feeling Bad. Why?”

I’m a polyamorous person that keeps ending up in relationships with monogamous people. Then I compromise and feel wrong, unseen, miserable, and wish to stay polyamorous solo. Then it happens again. Why?

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This is an interesting question, letter writer. To be perfectly honest, you didn’t give me a lot to work with here.  » Read more

The post “I’m a Polyamorous Person Who Keeps Compromising by Having Monogamous Relationships & Feeling Bad. Why?” appeared first on Poly.Land.

I Long for Less Awkward “Quantity-Neutral” Forms

Page   November 24, 2020   Comments Off on I Long for Less Awkward “Quantity-Neutral” Forms

Kind of a miscellaneous gripe today, folks, but bear with me. I know they’re in vogue and tend to share well on social media (ah, so many writers are the mercy of the algorithm gods), but I generally don’t do a lot of ranty, complaining posts because… I don’t rant a lot in real life?  » Read more

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For Better or Worse, I Don’t Have Rah Rah Polyamory Pom Poms

Page   August 19, 2020   Comments Off on For Better or Worse, I Don’t Have Rah Rah Polyamory Pom Poms

“What I’ve always liked about you,” she tells me, “is that you’re not one of those people who whip out your rah rah polyamory pom poms.”

“Thanks,” I say. “I think.”

“I mean it as a compliment,” she continues. “Like… you’re definitely supportive of polyamory — and other forms of consensual non-monogamy —  » Read more

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Why Non-Toxic Monogamy Is a Beautiful Thing & Why Yes = No, No = Yes

Page   February 14, 2020   Comments Off on Why Non-Toxic Monogamy Is a Beautiful Thing & Why Yes = No, No = Yes

Even though I run a site called Poly.Land, sometimes people are surprised to find out that these days I don’t consider myself to be primarily polyamorous per se — but ambiamorous.

I’ve written about ambiamory many times on this site, for example:

To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum,  » Read more

The post Why Non-Toxic Monogamy Is a Beautiful Thing & Why Yes = No, No = Yes appeared first on Poly.Land.

“Have You Ever Wanted to Give Up on Polyamory?”

Page   November 21, 2019   Comments Off on “Have You Ever Wanted to Give Up on Polyamory?”

Hey there! I’m new to poly, I’ve only been doing it for less than a year. I’ve been following your writings for that time and they’ve been a great help.

I still struggle with jealousy though, anxiety attacks, and just generally feeling terrible when my partner goes to explore new connections.  » Read more

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When You Ask Someone to Question One Thing, You May Be Asking Them to Question Everything

Page   October 16, 2019   Comments Off on When You Ask Someone to Question One Thing, You May Be Asking Them to Question Everything

Upon hearing that I’ve written three books about polyamory and maintain a popular daily blog that heavily (although not exclusively) focuses on consensual non-monogamy, most people assume I must be some kind of polyamory fanatic.

They presume that I jumped into non-monogamy vigorously, happily, excited as heck. That I was an exuberant polyamorist,  » Read more

The post When You Ask Someone to Question One Thing, You May Be Asking Them to Question Everything appeared first on Poly.Land.

What Is Functional Monogamy?

Page   August 5, 2019   Comments Off on What Is Functional Monogamy?

Hi Page,

I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?

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Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time.  » Read more

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“I’m Sorry, But I Have a Boyfriend”

Page   January 24, 2019   Comments Off on “I’m Sorry, But I Have a Boyfriend”

Growing up, I had a really hard time saying no. Even when it was the appropriate response, it felt harsh coming out of my mouth. Wrong.

Like a lot of women, I’d been raised to default to compliance. Going along with whatever other people wanted. It was part of blending in. Being liked.  » Read more

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Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

Page   October 29, 2018   Comments Off on Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

There are some people who say that polyamory is objectively way easier than monogamy (or, the less far less commonly used term monamory, the desire or practice of having a single intimate relationship at a time, which is perhaps a more accurate opposite).

They insist that polyamory more closely mimics our natural state or that it’s simply easier to manage.  » Read more

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Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why

Page   October 25, 2018   Comments Off on Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why

“You know, Page,” she says. “Polyamory sounds so great in theory. It’s just…I can’t get past one thing: Even considering polyamory makes me feel so selfish.”

She brings up her own partner and says she imagines they might be uncomfortable with her having other lovers. She hasn’t asked them or anything, she says.  » Read more

The post Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why appeared first on Poly.Land.