Tag Archives: metamours

The Stigma Against Struggling With a Metamour & Why It’s Important to Work Against It

“I love your new book,” she said.

“Thanks,” I replied. “I don’t usually like what I write, but I’m proud of that one. I’m happy with how it turned out.”

“I’m glad someone said it,” she said. “Loud and clear.”

“Said it?”

“That metamour relationships can be difficult sometimes.  » Read more

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Dealing With Difficult Metamours

Page   April 4, 2019   Comments Off on Dealing With Difficult Metamours

Let’s say your partner is seeing someone new, the reader wrote. And you don’t really like them. What do you do?

I nodded when I got this question. Aloud I said, “It happens. It definitely happens.”

And I wrote a blog post in response — “Help,  » Read more

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It’s Tough to Pack Your Ego in Mothballs, But You Might Need to if Your Metamour Is Reluctantly Polyamorous

Page   September 21, 2018   Comments Off on It’s Tough to Pack Your Ego in Mothballs, But You Might Need to if Your Metamour Is Reluctantly Polyamorous

A while back, some friends of mine, Margo and Emily, had their first foray into polyamory as a couple. They’d already been sexually open for a little while, having occasional threesomes with another friend (who had an anchor relationship of his own). But neither of them had another ongoing relationship, nor a connection where there were strong romantic emotions.  » Read more

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Polyamory Life Hack: Gracious Partners and Metamours

Page   September 19, 2018   Comments Off on Polyamory Life Hack: Gracious Partners and Metamours

It always makes me smile, every time it happens. When I find out from my girlfriend that my metamour has been sitting in the car waiting for our date to end so that he can come inside without interrupting us in the middle of whatever it is we’re doing. He’s been gone all night himself usually,  » Read more

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Is It Okay to Babysit Your Metamour’s Kids?

Page   July 20, 2018   Comments Off on Is It Okay to Babysit Your Metamour’s Kids?

Is it okay to babysit your metamour’s kids?

*

It’s a Thursday night in 2009. My metamour has a date with my partner, but her husband gets called in to work.

“Well, that sucks,” my partner says. “I haven’t seen her for a while.”

And it’s true.  » Read more

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In Polyamory, Comfort Is a Huge Time-Saver

Page   May 9, 2018   Comments Off on In Polyamory, Comfort Is a Huge Time-Saver

One of the questions I’m most often asked by monogamous or polycurious people is “How do you have time for it all?”

Typically, my reflex is to dive into some time management principles. Talk about different frameworks that can help you to prioritize (for example, Eisenhower/Covey’s time management matrix). Perhaps I’ll discuss the 80/20 Pareto principle,  » Read more

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PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?

Page   April 22, 2018   Comments Off on PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?

PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?

*

It’s been a long time since I tried to date anyone who identified as monogamous. Really not since I was first polyamorous. And the reason for that back then was that I didn’t know that many other polyamorous people.  » Read more

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How Being Polyamorous Can Be Different: Unorthodox Friendships & Support

Page   February 12, 2018   Comments Off on How Being Polyamorous Can Be Different: Unorthodox Friendships & Support

As a person who has been polyamorous for quite a while now, I’m sometimes asked by others how it’s different. And I suppose if you break it down, there are a lot of little differences that stem from within me. Things that tend to bother other people really don’t bother me. I’ve lost all sense of outrage regarding what are popularly regarded as “  » Read more

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I Would Do Anything for Love, but I Won’t Do That

Page   October 10, 2017   Comments Off on I Would Do Anything for Love, but I Won’t Do That

My second book, a quickstart guide for people looking to open up their relationships (especially geeky couples), is almost done. The beta readers have given their feedback, and I’m fixing the final draft as we speak so that Skyspook can finish the layout. Eeeeee! So exciting! Coming soon — don’t worry, you won’t miss it.  » Read more

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Goodbye, Metamour: The Second, Less Obvious Breakup

Page   October 2, 2017   Comments Off on Goodbye, Metamour: The Second, Less Obvious Breakup

“How are you holding up?” I ask her.

“I’ll be honest with you,” she says. “It’s not good.”

I wait.

“It’s so strange. I don’t know why it’s affecting me so much. He’s the one that’s going through the break up. But I feel like I am, too,” she says.  » Read more

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