Tag Archives: jealousy

6 Things Jealousy Doesn’t Mean

Page   August 2, 2018   Comments Off on 6 Things Jealousy Doesn’t Mean

While jealousy may be a very strong emotional signal, it’s not a very specific one. As I’ve written before, it’s easy to panic when you experience jealousy, but it’s very much like a check engine light: Jealousy tells you that something is amiss but not what, exactly. And certainly how serious the issue is or how to really fix it.  » Read more

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In Polyamory, Comfort Is a Huge Time-Saver

Page   May 9, 2018   Comments Off on In Polyamory, Comfort Is a Huge Time-Saver

One of the questions I’m most often asked by monogamous or polycurious people is “How do you have time for it all?”

Typically, my reflex is to dive into some time management principles. Talk about different frameworks that can help you to prioritize (for example, Eisenhower/Covey’s time management matrix). Perhaps I’ll discuss the 80/20 Pareto principle,  » Read more

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PQ 16.10 — How can I help support a partner who is feeling jealous or passed over?

Page   March 17, 2018   Comments Off on PQ 16.10 — How can I help support a partner who is feeling jealous or passed over?

PQ 16.10 — How can I help support a partner who is feeling jealous or passed over?

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It can be an incredibly difficult task to support a person who is feeling jealous or passed over — especially if our actions are part of the reason why they feel that way.  » Read more

The post PQ 16.10 — How can I help support a partner who is feeling jealous or passed over? appeared first on Poly.Land.

Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Non-Monogamy My Puppy Taught Me All Over Again

Page   March 8, 2018   Comments Off on Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Non-Monogamy My Puppy Taught Me All Over Again

Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.

They previously contributed four articles to Poly.Land:

  1. Is There a Right Time or Way to Break Up a Relationship?
  2. I Was Treated as a Disease Vector: Why There Are So Few Gay Men in Pansexual Polyamory
  3. Being Single Sucks,
  4.   » Read more

The post Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Non-Monogamy My Puppy Taught Me All Over Again appeared first on Poly.Land.

Demotion & Displacement: 2 More Things Jealousy Can Mean

Page   January 8, 2018   Comments Off on Demotion & Displacement: 2 More Things Jealousy Can Mean

As I’ve mentioned before, jealousy is a very strong emotional signal — but it’s not a very specific one.

It’s easy to panic when you experience jealousy, but it’s very much like a check engine light: Jealousy tells you that something is amiss but not what, exactly. And certainly not how serious the issue is.  » Read more

The post Demotion & Displacement: 2 More Things Jealousy Can Mean appeared first on Poly.Land.

3 Ways of Being Polyamorous: Wanting, Having, Sharing

Page   October 9, 2017   Comments Off on 3 Ways of Being Polyamorous: Wanting, Having, Sharing

“So I’m seeing this guy,” she says. “And he says he’s poly, but…”

“But?”

“He’s so not okay with my seeing other people. He has a bunch of other partners. Seems like he falls in love every five minutes. But the second I look at someone else, he’s a mess.”  » Read more

The post 3 Ways of Being Polyamorous: Wanting, Having, Sharing appeared first on Poly.Land.

Who Shouldn’t Be Polyamorous?

Page   September 25, 2017   Comments Off on Who Shouldn’t Be Polyamorous?

Today’s article is a guest blog post by Matthew Shadrake.

Matt is a polyamorous switch and a big ole softie. He has previously contributed 3 posts to Poly.Land:

  1. Twin Demons: How I Learned About Toxic Masculinity and Toxic Monogamy
  2. The Difference Between Having Preferences and Being a Prejudiced Asshole in Online Dating
  3. Firing a Gun Into a Dark Room: Strip Clubs,
  4.   » Read more

The post Who Shouldn’t Be Polyamorous? appeared first on Poly.Land.

Poly Shame Spiral: Swimming Through Water and Yelling at Ourselves for Getting Wet

Page   September 12, 2017   Comments Off on Poly Shame Spiral: Swimming Through Water and Yelling at Ourselves for Getting Wet

“Ugh, what is wrong with me? I’m so freaking bad at poly,” she says.

“Why do you say that?” I say.

“I’m the poly vet here. I should know what I’m doing,” she says.

“And you don’t?”

“I don’t. I feel like I did way back in the beginning,  » Read more

The post Poly Shame Spiral: Swimming Through Water and Yelling at Ourselves for Getting Wet appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 8.10 — Am I afraid that if my partner has sex with someone else, she will start comparing me whenever we have sex?

Page   July 1, 2017   Comments Off on PQ 8.10 — Am I afraid that if my partner has sex with someone else, she will start comparing me whenever we have sex?

PQ 8.10 — Am I afraid that if my partner has sex with someone else, she will start comparing me whenever we have sex?

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I hope she does compare.

I hope when she’s lying there naked in my arms that she can feel his hands there, too. Stroking her back.  » Read more

The post PQ 8.10 — Am I afraid that if my partner has sex with someone else, she will start comparing me whenever we have sex? appeared first on Poly.Land.

Stigma, Funding, and Getting Off the Fringe: An Interview with Dr. Terri Conley

Page   June 7, 2017   Comments Off on Stigma, Funding, and Getting Off the Fringe: An Interview with Dr. Terri Conley

If you’re an ethically nonmonogamous person and haven’t heard of Terri Conley, PhD, you’re missing out. Dr. Conley is “a social psychologist, a feminist, and a sex researcher, but not necessarily in that order.”

And Conley has arguably done more than any other person for establishing a sound scientific basis that polyamory and other forms of consensual nonmonogamy are a viable way to conduct relationships.  » Read more

The post Stigma, Funding, and Getting Off the Fringe: An Interview with Dr. Terri Conley appeared first on Poly.Land.