Tag Archives: BDSM

What Does It Mean to Be a Credit to Your Kink?

I’m not sure exactly where I heard it first, but it was all the rage during the first year or two after I joined FetLife: “Be a credit to your kink.”

Practically everyone was writing about it back then, in some way, shape, or form.

The basic premise of this catchphrase was this: If you’re doing something considered beyond the sociosexual pale,  » Read more

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Ask Page: Can He Force Me Into Mono/Poly Just Because He’s a Dominant?

Page   July 2, 2018   Comments Off on Ask Page: Can He Force Me Into Mono/Poly Just Because He’s a Dominant?

Hi Page,

I’m kind of new to this whole thing, being kinky and poly. Been talking to someone, and I have doubts. I would love to know if you could shed some light on them.

Talking to a guy right now, and he says that just because he’s a Dominant that he can go out with other submissives while he doesn’t even let me talk to other people.  » Read more

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8 Lessons That I Learned From Both Polyamory and Kink

Page   February 13, 2018   Comments Off on 8 Lessons That I Learned From Both Polyamory and Kink

I didn’t open up my marriage over a decade ago with an eye toward exploring kink. But that’s nonetheless what happened. After about a year of dating polyamorously, I eventually ended up with a girlfriend who knew some folks in the kink scene and had a strong kinky streak herself.

It was a surprising turn of events at the time.  » Read more

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Voyeurism as Exposure Therapy: How Watching Kink Scenes Made Polyamory Easier for Me

Page   December 19, 2017   Comments Off on Voyeurism as Exposure Therapy: How Watching Kink Scenes Made Polyamory Easier for Me

I’m watching them from across the room, leaning against the wall. Trying to be as unobtrusive as I can, so that I don’t spoil their energy. I’ve positioned myself so that there’s another scene partially obscuring my view: A woman pressed up against a St. Andrew’s cross, her partner flogging her back in time to the music filtering into the room.  » Read more

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The Pain Is Fine: How We Moved from Vanilla to Swirl to Chocolate Kink

Page   October 24, 2017   Comments Off on The Pain Is Fine: How We Moved from Vanilla to Swirl to Chocolate Kink

“Causing Someone Pain Is Never Okay”

“Ow,” he says.

It takes me a second to even hear that he’s said anything. We’re cuddling on his bed, and I’m so cozy and comfy that I’ve half zoned out of reality.

“C’mon, Page, move,” he says. shoving me to the side.

“Oh,”  » Read more

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Submission Gap: Masterless and Longing for Certainty

Page   August 23, 2017   Comments Off on Submission Gap: Masterless and Longing for Certainty

“Peoples once accustomed to masters are not in a condition to do without them.”

-Jean Jacques-Rousseau, Discourse on the Origin of Equality

Abusive Certainty

The thing I loved about Kurt was what scared me most about him: I never knew which version of him I was going to get.  » Read more

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PQ 9.11 — Do I feel that my partner considers me inferior to him or his other partners?

Page   August 12, 2017   Comments Off on PQ 9.11 — Do I feel that my partner considers me inferior to him or his other partners?

PQ 9.11 — Do I feel that my partner considers me inferior to him or his other partners?

*

“I wasn’t sure who… you were with,” the new girl says hesitantly, with a gentle emphasis on the last word. Her eyes dart from Skyspook to CC and back again.  » Read more

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What’s Mono/Poly?: A Basic Introduction

Page   April 26, 2017   Comments Off on What’s Mono/Poly?: A Basic Introduction

I really enjoyed your recent post on viewing monogamy and polyamory as a spectrum. It made me realize I don’t know a lot about mono/poly. What are some common reasons people are in mono/poly relationships? Can it work? Can it be fair? Or does the monogamous person just suffer all the time?  » Read more

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Assertiveness as Honesty Exchange: Sender to Receiver and Back Again

Page   April 2, 2017   Comments Off on Assertiveness as Honesty Exchange: Sender to Receiver and Back Again

When many folks think of assertiveness, they think of sender skills. An assertive person is one who communicates their thoughts and feelings confidently. Openly.

And while this is true, it’s not the entire picture. In practice, the most difficult part of assertive communication is the receiver half.

Because an assertive communicator is not only open to speaking their own truths —  » Read more

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7 Common Myths About Being Polyamorous

Page   March 30, 2017   Comments Off on 7 Common Myths About Being Polyamorous

Polyamory has become much more visible in the last few years. While public acceptance and understanding are increasing, a number of misconceptions still persist about being polyamorous. Here are a few common ones:

1. When you’re polyamorous, you’re always looking for new partners.

No. Just because a person is polyamorous, it doesn’t mean they’re in the market for a new relationship.  » Read more

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