Tag Archives: autonomy

It’s Not Easy to Balance Attachment and Autonomy

It’s a balance I’m yet to master, how to be attached just the right amount and in the just the right ways.

I’m used to being all alone on my own frequency. Used to taking years to wind up to a point where I feel brave enough to speak my truth, only to have it land on other people as absolute nonsense.  » Read more

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Solo Polyamory Raises Important Questions That I’m Glad to Hear People Asking

Page   July 30, 2018   Comments Off on Solo Polyamory Raises Important Questions That I’m Glad to Hear People Asking

Hi Page,

Thank you for your blog. It’s really awesome.

I was wondering if you have written any pieces about solo polyamory and what your opinion is on it?

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You know, I have written about solo polyamory here but only very little.  » Read more

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It’s Freeing to Do Your Own Thing, Even When You’re Very Committed to Someone Else

Page   April 12, 2018   Comments Off on It’s Freeing to Do Your Own Thing, Even When You’re Very Committed to Someone Else

Recently, my nesting partner Justin decided to switch over to a low-fat diet. Since I normally serve as the official meal planner for our house, it’s been a big project. Especially because left to my own devices, I typically have two personal eating modes: 1. Low Carb or 2. Eating Like I’m on Death Row.  » Read more

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PQ 9.9 — Am I being asked to give up relationships with friends or family?

Page   August 5, 2017   Comments Off on PQ 9.9 — Am I being asked to give up relationships with friends or family?

PQ 9.9 — Am I being asked to give up relationships with friends or family?

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It’s funny. Back when I became monogamous with Seth, I didn’t give a single thought to my autonomy. When we got together, I basically stepped out of my own life and into his. When he didn’t like one of my friends,  » Read more

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Non-Monogamy Didn’t Save My Marriage…It Saved Me

Page   July 11, 2017   Comments Off on Non-Monogamy Didn’t Save My Marriage…It Saved Me

“Could Non-Monogamy Save Your Marriage?”

I’m asked this fairly often, if I think non-monogamy is a good way to fix a troubled relationship. And outsiders often assume that this is the major reason that relationships open up in the first place.

But it wasn’t that way for me at all. When Seth and I opened up,  » Read more

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Polyamory Toolbox: The Good Roommate Standard

Page   April 30, 2017   Comments Off on Polyamory Toolbox: The Good Roommate Standard

When I opened up a relationship that had been monogamous for 8 years, I was prepared to feel jealous. But what I wasn’t prepared for? The radical shift in my thinking about that relationship. We both became much more autonomous. And it was a large adjustment getting used to our increased autonomy.

Prior to discovering polyamory,  » Read more

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The Other Woman? Was Who I Became: Autonomy Threat in Relationships

Page   April 21, 2017   Comments Off on The Other Woman? Was Who I Became: Autonomy Threat in Relationships

They check your phone whenever you leave it lying around.

“Who’s this?” they want to know. “And why did they text you a smiley in the middle of the night?”

They bristle when the waitstaff smiles at you. “Don’t think I didn’t see that!”

“See what? They were just being friendly.”  » Read more

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Open Relationships Aren’t Just for Promiscuous People

Page   April 15, 2017   Comments Off on Open Relationships Aren’t Just for Promiscuous People

“So this couple I know is poly now. I never would have thought they’d open up,” she says.

“Why is that?” I ask.

“Well, they’re really tame. Neither of them has slept with very many people. I think she’s his first, and he’s her second,” she replies.

“And it surprises you that they opened up?”  » Read more

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I’m Married to Him, But I’m Not His Primary

Page   April 14, 2017   Comments Off on I’m Married to Him, But I’m Not His Primary

Fellow poly Clevelander Ferrett Steinmetz recently published a post called “I’m Married to Her, but I’m Not Her Primary.” What renders him secondary, Ferrett writes in this post, is his wife’s commitment to her children from a previous marriage and how she (understandably) prioritizes that role over their relationship.

It’s a nice piece,  » Read more

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7 Ways to Keep Love Alive and Make an Old Relationship Feel New

Page   February 21, 2017   Comments Off on 7 Ways to Keep Love Alive and Make an Old Relationship Feel New

When you first start dating someone, everything is new and exciting. And then after a while, even a great relationship has a way of becoming routine. Even predictable.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Here are 7 ways to make an old relationship feel shiny and new:  » Read more

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