Tag Archives: attachment

It’s Not Easy to Balance Attachment and Autonomy

It’s a balance I’m yet to master, how to be attached just the right amount and in the just the right ways.

I’m used to being all alone on my own frequency. Used to taking years to wind up to a point where I feel brave enough to speak my truth, only to have it land on other people as absolute nonsense.  » Read more

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Running Out of Side Quests on the Quest for Primary

Page   July 25, 2017   Comments Off on Running Out of Side Quests on the Quest for Primary

“If you asked most people whether they believed in love or not, they’d probably say they didn’t. Yet that’s not necessarily what they truly think. It’s just the way they defend themselves against what they want. They believe in it, but pretend they don’t until they’re allowed to. Most people would throw away all their cynicism if they could.  » Read more

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PQ 8.5 — But What About the Flattering Jealousy?

Page   May 27, 2017   Comments Off on PQ 8.5 — But What About the Flattering Jealousy?

PQ. 8.5 — Do I believe that if I am not jealous, I don’t really love my partner?

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“All this work on unlearning jealousy and becoming emotionally secure is all fine and good,” she says. “But don’t you miss your partner getting jealous?”

I cock my head.  » Read more

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Ask Page: New Relationship Energy and Parenting

Page   October 17, 2016   Comments Off on Ask Page: New Relationship Energy and Parenting

I have a question which is related to the subject in this post.

You say “under the influence of NRE, people have been known to neglect important responsibilities at work, make poor financial decisions, and skimp on sleep and other self-care”.

What if the important responsibility are their children,  » Read more

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Hanging by a Thread: New Partners and Pseudo-Anxious Attachment

Page   October 14, 2016   Comments Off on Hanging by a Thread: New Partners and Pseudo-Anxious Attachment

Photo by mattw1ls0n / CC BY

I wrote recently about attachment styles and how they come into play during relationships. In that post, I mentioned that the most difficult combination occurs when a person with anxious attachment is in a relationship with someone whose attachment style is avoidant.   » Read more

Attachment Styles

Page   October 10, 2016   Comments Off on Attachment Styles

Photo by dierk schaefer / CC BY

Perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty),  » Read more

PQ 1.2 – Do I feel there can be only one “true” love or one “real” soulmate?

Page   September 1, 2016   Comments Off on PQ 1.2 – Do I feel there can be only one “true” love or one “real” soulmate?

Poly Question 1.2 Do I feel there can be only one “true” love or one “real” soulmate? * “Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.” -Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself” * At 8 years old, I murmur softly under the covers at Emma. I know we’re supposed […]

PQ 1.2 – Do I feel there can be only one “true” love or one “real” soulmate?

Page   September 1, 2016   Comments Off on PQ 1.2 – Do I feel there can be only one “true” love or one “real” soulmate?

Poly Question 1.2 Do I feel there can be only one “true” love or one “real” soulmate? * “Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.” -Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself” * At 8 years old, I murmur softly under the covers at Emma. I know we’re supposed … Continue reading “PQ 1.2 – Do I feel there can be only one “true” love or one “real” soulmate?”

It’s Not Actually Easy

Page   August 26, 2016   Comments Off on It’s Not Actually Easy

It’s been great to touch base lately with some of my other partnered poly friends. My best friend Fluffy, while definitely polyamorous and possessing a very similar bent towards relationship anarchy as my own, has a hard time finding partners and hasn’t been in a relationship for a few years now. The spirit is willing, […]

It’s Not Actually Easy

Page   August 26, 2016   Comments Off on It’s Not Actually Easy

It’s been great to touch base lately with some of my other partnered poly friends. My best friend Fluffy, while definitely polyamorous and possessing a very similar bent towards relationship anarchy as my own, has a hard time finding partners and hasn’t been in a relationship for a few years now. The spirit is willing, … Continue reading “It’s Not Actually Easy”