Tag Archives: ambiamory

“That’s Not Just Polyamorous People”

Without fail, whenever one of my essays is shared enough, folks will start commenting on it in a very familiar way:

  • “This isn’t unique to polyamory.”
  • “This doesn’t just apply to polyamorous people.”

This happens even with essays that aren’t specifically about polyamory, ones in which I’m just talking about relationships in general.  » Read more

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Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

Page   October 29, 2018   Comments Off on Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

There are some people who say that polyamory is objectively way easier than monogamy (or, the less far less commonly used term monamory, the desire or practice of having a single intimate relationship at a time, which is perhaps a more accurate opposite).

They insist that polyamory more closely mimics our natural state or that it’s simply easier to manage.  » Read more

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Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why

Page   October 25, 2018   Comments Off on Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why

“You know, Page,” she says. “Polyamory sounds so great in theory. It’s just…I can’t get past one thing: Even considering polyamory makes me feel so selfish.”

She brings up her own partner and says she imagines they might be uncomfortable with her having other lovers. She hasn’t asked them or anything, she says.  » Read more

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6 Things Jealousy Doesn’t Mean

Page   August 2, 2018   Comments Off on 6 Things Jealousy Doesn’t Mean

While jealousy may be a very strong emotional signal, it’s not a very specific one. As I’ve written before, it’s easy to panic when you experience jealousy, but it’s very much like a check engine light: Jealousy tells you that something is amiss but not what, exactly. And certainly how serious the issue is or how to really fix it.  » Read more

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Is It Okay to Babysit Your Metamour’s Kids?

Page   July 20, 2018   Comments Off on Is It Okay to Babysit Your Metamour’s Kids?

Is it okay to babysit your metamour’s kids?

*

It’s a Thursday night in 2009. My metamour has a date with my partner, but her husband gets called in to work.

“Well, that sucks,” my partner says. “I haven’t seen her for a while.”

And it’s true.  » Read more

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The War on Christmas. Or Monogamy. Or Something.

Page   November 27, 2017   Comments Off on The War on Christmas. Or Monogamy. Or Something.

War on Christmas Lady

I can hear her coming down the hall, talking to someone on her cell phone as she walks into the office suite.

“All this so-called gender stuff hurts kids. I read that some kindergartner decided their gender was ‘tractor’ and I’m supposed to respect that?”

She doesn’t know I can hear her,  » Read more

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3 Ways of Being Polyamorous: Wanting, Having, Sharing

Page   October 9, 2017   Comments Off on 3 Ways of Being Polyamorous: Wanting, Having, Sharing

“So I’m seeing this guy,” she says. “And he says he’s poly, but…”

“But?”

“He’s so not okay with my seeing other people. He has a bunch of other partners. Seems like he falls in love every five minutes. But the second I look at someone else, he’s a mess.”  » Read more

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To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum, Not a Binary

Page   April 17, 2017   Comments Off on To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum, Not a Binary

Mono/poly relationships (i.e., pairings in which one partner is monogamous and the other is polyamorous) are famously difficult.

While there are many factors, we do ourselves no favors by viewing monogamy and polyamory as polar opposites rather than as points on the same spectrum.

Consider this: It’s difficult to find a workable middle between two things if you’re convinced that one can’t possibly exist.  » Read more

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