Tag Archives: ambiamory

The Stigma Against Struggling With a Metamour & Why It’s Important to Work Against It

“I love your new book,” she said.

“Thanks,” I replied. “I don’t usually like what I write, but I’m proud of that one. I’m happy with how it turned out.”

“I’m glad someone said it,” she said. “Loud and clear.”

“Said it?”

“That metamour relationships can be difficult sometimes.  » Read more

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The Very Presence of a Community and Other Voices Can Be Reassuring, Regardless of What They’re Even Saying

It’s been interesting, the past decade. Polyamory went from being a relatively obscure term, something that was only discussed in low-tech ancient discussion groups that looked basically like .txt files posted by a few obsessive outliers, to being covered by major news outlets. (The history of this emergence is well covered by Alan M’s blog Polyamory in the News)

While people disagree on whether consensual non-monogamy has caught on as a practice during that time (some people say no,  » Read more

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What Is Functional Monogamy?

Hi Page,

I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?

*

Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time.  » Read more

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“That’s Not Just Polyamorous People”

Page   March 11, 2019   Comments Off on “That’s Not Just Polyamorous People”

Without fail, whenever one of my essays is shared enough, folks will start commenting on it in a very familiar way:

  • “This isn’t unique to polyamory.”
  • “This doesn’t just apply to polyamorous people.”

This happens even with essays that aren’t specifically about polyamory, ones in which I’m just talking about relationships in general.  » Read more

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Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

Page   October 29, 2018   Comments Off on Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

There are some people who say that polyamory is objectively way easier than monogamy (or, the less far less commonly used term monamory, the desire or practice of having a single intimate relationship at a time, which is perhaps a more accurate opposite).

They insist that polyamory more closely mimics our natural state or that it’s simply easier to manage.  » Read more

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Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why

Page   October 25, 2018   Comments Off on Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why

“You know, Page,” she says. “Polyamory sounds so great in theory. It’s just…I can’t get past one thing: Even considering polyamory makes me feel so selfish.”

She brings up her own partner and says she imagines they might be uncomfortable with her having other lovers. She hasn’t asked them or anything, she says.  » Read more

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6 Things Jealousy Doesn’t Mean

Page   August 2, 2018   Comments Off on 6 Things Jealousy Doesn’t Mean

While jealousy may be a very strong emotional signal, it’s not a very specific one. As I’ve written before, it’s easy to panic when you experience jealousy, but it’s very much like a check engine light: Jealousy tells you that something is amiss but not what, exactly. And certainly how serious the issue is or how to really fix it.  » Read more

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Is It Okay to Babysit Your Metamour’s Kids?

Page   July 20, 2018   Comments Off on Is It Okay to Babysit Your Metamour’s Kids?

Is it okay to babysit your metamour’s kids?

*

It’s a Thursday night in 2009. My metamour has a date with my partner, but her husband gets called in to work.

“Well, that sucks,” my partner says. “I haven’t seen her for a while.”

And it’s true.  » Read more

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The War on Christmas. Or Monogamy. Or Something.

Page   November 27, 2017   Comments Off on The War on Christmas. Or Monogamy. Or Something.

War on Christmas Lady

I can hear her coming down the hall, talking to someone on her cell phone as she walks into the office suite.

“All this so-called gender stuff hurts kids. I read that some kindergartner decided their gender was ‘tractor’ and I’m supposed to respect that?”

She doesn’t know I can hear her,  » Read more

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3 Ways of Being Polyamorous: Wanting, Having, Sharing

Page   October 9, 2017   Comments Off on 3 Ways of Being Polyamorous: Wanting, Having, Sharing

“So I’m seeing this guy,” she says. “And he says he’s poly, but…”

“But?”

“He’s so not okay with my seeing other people. He has a bunch of other partners. Seems like he falls in love every five minutes. But the second I look at someone else, he’s a mess.”  » Read more

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