I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?
Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time. » Read more
The post What Is Functional Monogamy? appeared first on Poly.Land.
Without fail, whenever one of my essays is shared enough, folks will start commenting on it in a very familiar way:
- “This isn’t unique to polyamory.”
- “This doesn’t just apply to polyamorous people.”
This happens even with essays that aren’t specifically about polyamory, ones in which I’m just talking about relationships in general. » Read more
The post “That’s Not Just Polyamorous People” appeared first on Poly.Land.
There are some people who say that polyamory is objectively way easier than monogamy (or, the less far less commonly used term monamory, the desire or practice of having a single intimate relationship at a time, which is perhaps a more accurate opposite).
They insist that polyamory more closely mimics our natural state or that it’s simply easier to manage. » Read more
The post Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing appeared first on Poly.Land.
“You know, Page,” she says. “Polyamory sounds so great in theory. It’s just…I can’t get past one thing: Even considering polyamory makes me feel so selfish.”
She brings up her own partner and says she imagines they might be uncomfortable with her having other lovers. She hasn’t asked them or anything, she says. » Read more
The post Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why appeared first on Poly.Land.
While jealousy may be a very strong emotional signal, it’s not a very specific one. As I’ve written before, it’s easy to panic when you experience jealousy, but it’s very much like a check engine light: Jealousy tells you that something is amiss but not what, exactly. And certainly how serious the issue is or how to really fix it. » Read more
The post 6 Things Jealousy Doesn’t Mean appeared first on Poly.Land.
Is it okay to babysit your metamour’s kids?
It’s a Thursday night in 2009. My metamour has a date with my partner, but her husband gets called in to work.
“Well, that sucks,” my partner says. “I haven’t seen her for a while.”
And it’s true. » Read more
The post Is It Okay to Babysit Your Metamour’s Kids? appeared first on Poly.Land.
War on Christmas Lady
I can hear her coming down the hall, talking to someone on her cell phone as she walks into the office suite.
“All this so-called gender stuff hurts kids. I read that some kindergartner decided their gender was ‘tractor’ and I’m supposed to respect that?”
She doesn’t know I can hear her, » Read more
The post The War on Christmas. Or Monogamy. Or Something. appeared first on Poly.Land.
Mono/poly relationships (i.e., pairings in which one partner is monogamous and the other is polyamorous) are famously difficult.
While there are many factors, we do ourselves no favors by viewing monogamy and polyamory as polar opposites rather than as points on the same spectrum.
Consider this: It’s difficult to find a workable middle between two things if you’re convinced that one can’t possibly exist. » Read more
The post To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum, Not a Binary appeared first on Poly.Land.