Tag Archives: agreements

Are There a Time and Place for Babyproofing an Open Relationship?

I’m watching my mother-in-law baby proof her house for my nephew since my husband’s brother and his wife will be there any minute with the kid in tow. My mother-in-law moves around the space quickly. It’s clear she has a routine. That she’s done this dozens of times.

She closes doors all up and down the hall.  » Read more

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Whatever You Do, Don’t Mix Up Your Partners

Page   November 6, 2018   Comments Off on Whatever You Do, Don’t Mix Up Your Partners

I wrote an essay a few weeks ago called  I’m Sorry, I Had You Mixed Up with Someone Else. That piece is primarily about how difficult it is to recover from experiencing abuse and not let it affect your future relationships. Here’s an excerpt:

Ninety-five percent of me, ninety-five percent of the time knows that the past is the past and that I’m in a better place now.  » Read more

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PQ 10.6 — Do I feel like I need rules to feel safe? If so, will the rules actually keep me safe?

Page   September 10, 2017   Comments Off on PQ 10.6 — Do I feel like I need rules to feel safe? If so, will the rules actually keep me safe?

PQ 10.6 — Do I feel like I need rules to feel safe? If so, will the rules actually keep me safe?

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Rules are funny.

I’ve written a few times about how disenchanted I am with polyamorous agreements with too many rules (e.g., in Rules Schmules,  » Read more

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PQ 10.5 — What happens if the agreement doesn’t work for my partners, or my partners’ partners?

Page   September 9, 2017   Comments Off on PQ 10.5 — What happens if the agreement doesn’t work for my partners, or my partners’ partners?

PQ 10.5 — What happens if the agreement doesn’t work for my partners, or my partners’ partners?

“If Your Calendar Shows That You’re Available, I Expect You to Be Here”

“I looked at your calendar. There wasn’t anything on it,” Michelle said.

“Ah,” I said, not sure where she was going.  » Read more

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Best Practices for Negotiating Polyamorous Relationship Agreements

Page   March 3, 2017   Comments Off on Best Practices for Negotiating Polyamorous Relationship Agreements

Be Specific, Be Clear, Be Comprehensive

While I’ve had a number of polyamorous relationship agreements over the years, the best ones all had one thing in common: They were very specific, very clear, and comprehensive.

An agreement should meet everyone’s needs. In order to figure out what these are, make sure to devote adequate time for discussion.  » Read more

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“But what if they test positive?”

Page   August 6, 2016   Comments Off on “But what if they test positive?”

“But aren’t you worried about diseases?” It’s a very frequent question asked of poly people – and a very natural one. I know it’s the first one I asked when polyamory was presented to me as a relationship option. Your standard-issue Poly Honor Student answer goes a little something like this: “Of course we are, […]