Author Archives: Page

If You’ve Ever Been Jealousy Baited, You’re Not Alone. And You’re Not Stupid for Trusting People.

I’ve been working through something very painful lately. Something that I’ve barely spoken about with anyone. Basically, just my nearest and dearest. And even with them, only sparingly.

Because it’s a mess. And I’m a mess about it.

But I’ve finally gotten to a place where I have enough closure that I can write an article about it,  » Read more

The post If You’ve Ever Been Jealousy Baited, You’re Not Alone. And You’re Not Stupid for Trusting People. appeared first on Poly.Land.

What Does It Mean to Be a Credit to Your Kink?

I’m not sure exactly where I heard it first, but it was all the rage during the first year or two after I joined FetLife: “Be a credit to your kink.”

Practically everyone was writing about it back then, in some way, shape, or form.

The basic premise of this catchphrase was this: If you’re doing something considered beyond the sociosexual pale,  » Read more

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Are There a Time and Place for Babyproofing an Open Relationship?

I’m watching my mother-in-law baby proof her house for my nephew since my husband’s brother and his wife will be there any minute with the kid in tow. My mother-in-law moves around the space quickly. It’s clear she has a routine. That she’s done this dozens of times.

She closes doors all up and down the hall.  » Read more

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The Relief of Finally Being Visibly and Actively Biromantic

As I wrote in an earlier piece, while I didn’t practice polyamory until the last decade or so, I’ve been bisexual for as long as I can remember. And as such, I’m no stranger to bisexual erasure. It’s been a constant companion no matter where I go.

Bisexual erasure involves basically any attempt to invalidate bisexuality as a real sexual identity,  » Read more

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It’s Not Easy to Balance Attachment and Autonomy

It’s a balance I’m yet to master, how to be attached just the right amount and in the just the right ways.

I’m used to being all alone on my own frequency. Used to taking years to wind up to a point where I feel brave enough to speak my truth, only to have it land on other people as absolute nonsense.  » Read more

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Dealing With Difficult Metamours

Let’s say your partner is seeing someone new, the reader wrote. And you don’t really like them. What do you do?

I nodded when I got this question. Aloud I said, “It happens. It definitely happens.”

And I wrote a blog post in response — “Help,  » Read more

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What’s the Difference Between Polyamory & an Open Relationship?

Hi Page,

I have been thinking of something for the past week or so, and it has been scratching at my mind and I’m not really sure why because I don’t really care about labels.

Is there technically a difference between open relationships and polyamory? Or does it depend on the people involved and what their personal belief is regarding those?  » Read more

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“You Just Want to Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too”

You polyamorous people, she writes, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too.

*

I’ve never liked this analogy. “You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”

The wording’s always been a little confusing since “have” is often used when talking about food to mean “eat.”  » Read more

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Choosing a Home with Non-Monogamy and Privacy in Mind

“You know what I’m looking forward to the most about buying a house?” she says.

“What’s that?”

“Personal space. Privacy,” she says. “And lots of it.”

I nod. I know what she means. As it stands, it’s pretty much impossible to have a date over in her apartment and have any degree of privacy if her nesting partner is home.  » Read more

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“That’s Not Just Polyamorous People”

Without fail, whenever one of my essays is shared enough, folks will start commenting on it in a very familiar way:

  • “This isn’t unique to polyamory.”
  • “This doesn’t just apply to polyamorous people.”

This happens even with essays that aren’t specifically about polyamory, ones in which I’m just talking about relationships in general.  » Read more

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