Monthly Archives: February 2018

In Jazz and Polyamory, Sometimes You Just Have to Improvise

Page   February 21, 2018   Comments Off on In Jazz and Polyamory, Sometimes You Just Have to Improvise

Justin and I are sitting down to dinner one night. The food is all laid out. “I want to put on some jazz music while we eat. Any suggestions?” he asks.

I think for a minute. “Miles Davis, Kind of Blue,” I say. “It’s a good album but definitely atmospheric.”  » Read more

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About that Sad First Book

Page   February 20, 2018   Comments Off on About that Sad First Book

Life is not a PG feel-good movie. Real life often ends badly. Literature tries to document this reality, while showing us it is still possible for us to endure nobly.

-Matthew Quick

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“I read your blog for a while before I read Poly Land,  » Read more

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PQ 16.2 — Do I take responsibility for my choices, or do I expect my partners to make them for me?

Page   February 17, 2018   Comments Off on PQ 16.2 — Do I take responsibility for my choices, or do I expect my partners to make them for me?

PQ 16.2 — Do I take responsibility for my choices, or do I expect my partners to make them for me?

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What a question. That was my reflexive reaction to reading it: What a question.

I showed this one to a friend of mine, and their verbatim reaction was also “What a question.”  » Read more

The post PQ 16.2 — Do I take responsibility for my choices, or do I expect my partners to make them for me? appeared first on Poly.Land.

8 Lessons That I Learned From Both Polyamory and Kink

Page   February 13, 2018   Comments Off on 8 Lessons That I Learned From Both Polyamory and Kink

I didn’t open up my marriage over a decade ago with an eye toward exploring kink. But that’s nonetheless what happened. After about a year of dating polyamorously, I eventually ended up with a girlfriend who knew some folks in the kink scene and had a strong kinky streak herself.

It was a surprising turn of events at the time.  » Read more

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How Being Polyamorous Can Be Different: Unorthodox Friendships & Support

Page   February 12, 2018   Comments Off on How Being Polyamorous Can Be Different: Unorthodox Friendships & Support

As a person who has been polyamorous for quite a while now, I’m sometimes asked by others how it’s different. And I suppose if you break it down, there are a lot of little differences that stem from within me. Things that tend to bother other people really don’t bother me. I’ve lost all sense of outrage regarding what are popularly regarded as “  » Read more

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PQ 15.6 — How do I leave space for new people to come into my life?

Page   February 10, 2018   Comments Off on PQ 15.6 — How do I leave space for new people to come into my life?

PQ 15.6 — How do I leave space for new people to come into my life?

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This question reminds me of a guest post I featured last year by Fluffy titled “Being Single Sucks, But We Don’t Want to Hear About It.” In that post,  » Read more

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The Scariest Thing About Polyamory Is Also One of the Best

Page   February 8, 2018   Comments Off on The Scariest Thing About Polyamory Is Also One of the Best

“I’ve thought of something you should write about,” she tells me.

“Oh?” I say. She’s not the type to offer up ideas very often. Not much of an unsolicited advice giver. And her insights are usually great. So she has my interest.

“It’s about something I’ve never really heard anybody talk about in relation to polyamory,”  » Read more

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Getting Away from Comparisons: The Maze Is Different, So the Map Will Be, Too

Page   February 7, 2018   Comments Off on Getting Away from Comparisons: The Maze Is Different, So the Map Will Be, Too

Hi Page, I’ve been reading your blog for a long time. I particularly love your post on how to feel more secure in relationships. I did have one question though: How do you stop comparing yourself to others?  I know it’s not doing me any favors to worry about how I measure up to my partner’s other partners.   » Read more

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PQ 15.4 — What do I need from my relationships? How often do I reevaluate my needs?

Page   February 3, 2018   Comments Off on PQ 15.4 — What do I need from my relationships? How often do I reevaluate my needs?

PQ 15.4 — What do I need from my relationships? How often do I reevaluate my needs?

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It’s taken a long time for me to get a handle on what exactly I need from my relationships. But I think I’ve finally pinpointed where real compatibility lies:

Shared values.   » Read more

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Poly Pitfalls: Confusing Polysaturation with Oversaturation

Page   February 2, 2018   Comments Off on Poly Pitfalls: Confusing Polysaturation with Oversaturation

“Oh, Page, I’ve screwed it up big this time,” she says.

“What’s going on?” I ask her.

“Well, you remember when I told you I had a full dance card?” she says.

I do.

“I think full was an understatement.”

“Oh no,” I say.

“Yeah,”  » Read more

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