Monthly Archives: May 2017

How to Know If a Slut Loves You

Page   May 31, 2017   Comments Off on How to Know If a Slut Loves You

“Promiscuous” implies that I’m not choosy. In fact I’m very choosy. I just happen to have had a lot of choices.

-Jacki Weaver

How Do You Know If a Slut Loves You?

It is the giddy catch of breath. Their quick smile.

The way they look at you. Beyond pensive.  » Read more

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Nowhere to Hide: How “It’s Complicated” Makes Everything Very Simple

Page   May 29, 2017   Comments Off on Nowhere to Hide: How “It’s Complicated” Makes Everything Very Simple

I recently stumbled across a piece by Heina Dadabhoy called “Polyamory: What No One Warned Me About.” As Dadabhoy writes:

Polyamory makes it worse in that the usual rationalizations for getting dumped don’t work when you were poly with the person and they remain poly after the break-up.

“They left me so they could date someone prettier/smarter/easier/better than me”?  » Read more

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PQ 8.5 — But What About the Flattering Jealousy?

Page   May 27, 2017   Comments Off on PQ 8.5 — But What About the Flattering Jealousy?

PQ. 8.5 — Do I believe that if I am not jealous, I don’t really love my partner?

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“All this work on unlearning jealousy and becoming emotionally secure is all fine and good,” she says. “But don’t you miss your partner getting jealous?”

I cock my head.  » Read more

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Go Ahead and Date Your Friends, But Break Up Well

Page   May 26, 2017   Comments Off on Go Ahead and Date Your Friends, But Break Up Well

It’s a common rule that a lot of people have when they open up their relationships: No friends.

It’s likely one of those carryovers from traditional dating wisdom. Don’t date friends because most relationships break up, and if you break up with someone, you’re likely to ruin the friendship.

But my dirty secret: I nearly always date friends.  » Read more

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Our Top 10 Favorite Polyamory Memes of All Time

Page   May 23, 2017   Comments Off on Our Top 10 Favorite Polyamory Memes of All Time

It’s an unspoken rule of the Internet: Something doesn’t really exist until you meme it.

Without any further ado, I present the 10 polyamory-related memes that I have encountered that made me smile the most.

10. It Only Works on Paper

a picture of a person kneeling down and rolling out a roll of paper. The text over the image reads: "Polyamory only works on paper." Me: *Gets paper*

History of Meme (Only Works on Paper)

   » Read more

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Polyamory Is Not for Perfectionists, But Neither Is Happiness.

Page   May 22, 2017   Comments Off on Polyamory Is Not for Perfectionists, But Neither Is Happiness.

I’m very interested in polyamory, but one thing holds me back. I worry that it’s not possible to have multiple relationships and have them all be as deep and invested as they possibly can be. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I pride myself in working hard at everything I do, as hard as I possibly can.  » Read more

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PQ 8.3 — Does the idea of my partner having another lover mean that whatever my partner sees in me will no longer be valid, or that my partner will want to choose that other lover over me?

Page   May 13, 2017   Comments Off on PQ 8.3 — Does the idea of my partner having another lover mean that whatever my partner sees in me will no longer be valid, or that my partner will want to choose that other lover over me?

PQ 8.3 — Does the idea of my partner having another lover mean that whatever my partner sees in me will no longer be valid, or that my partner will want to choose that other lover over me?

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When I was brand new to poly, I spent hours reading other polyamorous people say that love was infinite.  » Read more

The post PQ 8.3 — Does the idea of my partner having another lover mean that whatever my partner sees in me will no longer be valid, or that my partner will want to choose that other lover over me? appeared first on Poly.Land.

Jealousy Shaming, Gatekeeping, and Honor Students: No, Really. Please Be Jealous. I Mean It.

Page   May 12, 2017   Comments Off on Jealousy Shaming, Gatekeeping, and Honor Students: No, Really. Please Be Jealous. I Mean It.

Jealousy Shamed

One of the more surreal aspects of blogging to a wide audience is reading other’s peoples takes on the personal experiences you’ve shared with them. You get used to it quickly, or you don’t last. I find that even more challenging perspectives can be helpful if I can resist the urge to get defensive.  » Read more

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I Thought We Had a Good Thing Because He Never Cheated on Me

Page   May 10, 2017   Comments Off on I Thought We Had a Good Thing Because He Never Cheated on Me

I was a child of the 80’s. Obsessed with Cabbage Patch Kids. Punky Brewster.

This meant I came of age during the Jerry Springer years.

As I watched countless chairs hurled angrily across the stage, I absorbed a key message: There was nothing worse than your partner sleeping with someone else.  » Read more

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