When I opened up a relationship that had been monogamous for 8 years, I was prepared to feel jealous. But what I wasn’t prepared for? The radical shift in my thinking about that relationship. We both became much more autonomous. And it was a large adjustment getting used to our increased autonomy.
Prior to discovering polyamory, » Read more
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So You Want to Open Your Relationship, What Next?
I had read all about New Relationship Energy (NRE) before diving in to polyamory. Those new, shiny feelings that happen when you first start dating someone. When your partner feels NRE for someone new, it can be deeply terrifying. Especially when you’re new to polyamory and in a relationship that was previously monogamous and not yet Poly Road Tested. » Read more
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Cat Math: Two Plus Three Equals… Three
I once was friends with a guy who had five cats. “But really,” he said. “Having five cats is more like having three.”
“How do you figure?’ I asked, imagining the potential yowling in the middle of the night as his cats all fight for territory. » Read more
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Part of what can feel daunting when trying to navigate polyamorous relationships is how few cultural models we have for a lot of what happens.
How are we supposed to act when we’re sharing a romantic partner with others? And how should we interact with our metamours (i.e., our partner’s other partners)?
Popular depictions of love triangles are profoundly unhelpful. » Read more
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Mono/poly relationships (i.e., pairings in which one partner is monogamous and the other is polyamorous) are famously difficult.
While there are many factors, we do ourselves no favors by viewing monogamy and polyamory as polar opposites rather than as points on the same spectrum.
Consider this: It’s difficult to find a workable middle between two things if you’re convinced that one can’t possibly exist. » Read more
The post To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum, Not a Binary appeared first on Poly.Land.
“So this couple I know is poly now. I never would have thought they’d open up,” she says.
“Why is that?” I ask.
“Well, they’re really tame. Neither of them has slept with very many people. I think she’s his first, and he’s her second,” she replies.
“And it surprises you that they opened up?” » Read more
The post Open Relationships Aren’t Just for Promiscuous People appeared first on Poly.Land.