Monthly Archives: March 2017

7 Common Myths About Being Polyamorous

Page   March 30, 2017   Comments Off on 7 Common Myths About Being Polyamorous

Polyamory has become much more visible in the last few years. While public acceptance and understanding are increasing, a number of misconceptions still persist about being polyamorous. Here are a few common ones:

1. When you’re polyamorous, you’re always looking for new partners.

No. Just because a person is polyamorous, it doesn’t mean they’re in the market for a new relationship.  » Read more

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Showered with Love and ORE: I’ve Enjoyed Dating Couples as a Unicorn

Page   March 28, 2017   Comments Off on Showered with Love and ORE: I’ve Enjoyed Dating Couples as a Unicorn

“Ugh,” she says. “More unicorn hunters. I hate unicorn hunters. Don’t they know that no self-respecting bisexual woman is willing to date a couple?”

I bite my tongue yet again, not sure if she remembers that I’ve dated couples. And not just one couple.  » Read more

The post Showered with Love and ORE: I’ve Enjoyed Dating Couples as a Unicorn appeared first on Poly.Land.

Why I’m (Nearly Always) Friends First

Page   March 26, 2017   Comments Off on Why I’m (Nearly Always) Friends First

It’s a standard piece of dating advice: “Be friends first.”

But it’s not automatically true just because people say it a lot.

Until rather recently I never followed this advice. I thought it inadvisable to be friends first. Maybe even a bit stupid. If I’m physically attracted to someone, why wait to explore that connection?  » Read more

The post Why I’m (Nearly Always) Friends First appeared first on Poly.Land.

The Loneliness Trap: Climbing Out and Staying Connected

Page   March 24, 2017   Comments Off on The Loneliness Trap: Climbing Out and Staying Connected

“There are moments, such as the one that oppresses me now, when I feel my own self far more than I feel external things, and everything transforms into a night of rain and mud where, lost in the solitude of an out-of-the-way station, I wait interminably for the next third-class train.”

-Fernando Pessoa,   » Read more

The post The Loneliness Trap: Climbing Out and Staying Connected appeared first on Poly.Land.

Ask Page: Helping Bisexual Women Open Up

Page   March 23, 2017   Comments Off on Ask Page: Helping Bisexual Women Open Up

Hi Page,

My wife and I opened our marriage a while ago. Well, opened it at least in theory. We haven’t found anybody yet. Maybe it’s because we live in a conservative area with a lot of religious people, but it’s really been hard finding a woman to date us both (I’m straight,  » Read more

The post Ask Page: Helping Bisexual Women Open Up appeared first on Poly.Land.

5 Steps to Feeling Safe and Secure in Polyamory — and Beyond!

Page   March 22, 2017   Comments Off on 5 Steps to Feeling Safe and Secure in Polyamory — and Beyond!

Is there a way to feel safe in poly? Right now I feel like I can only get that “security” being in a monogamous relationship. But I’m drawn to poly.

*

Yes, there is. It’s not instant, and it takes a lot of self-work, but with sustained practice, you can foster a sense of personal security.  » Read more

The post 5 Steps to Feeling Safe and Secure in Polyamory — and Beyond! appeared first on Poly.Land.

The Thrill of Anticipation: Happily Waiting to Date Someone

Page   March 19, 2017   Comments Off on The Thrill of Anticipation: Happily Waiting to Date Someone

I love to work, I love to work, I love to work out after work.
I’d love to spend a little time with this woman I’m seeing,
Except, uh, we never really get any time to spend together,
So, we call each other up, and we talk about work.

-lyrics from “Stress,”  » Read more

The post The Thrill of Anticipation: Happily Waiting to Date Someone appeared first on Poly.Land.

“My Partner is a Reflection of Me”: Partner Choice as Self-Referendum

Page   March 18, 2017   Comments Off on “My Partner is a Reflection of Me”: Partner Choice as Self-Referendum

“My partner is a reflection of me,” she said.

“Oh?”

“What he does,” she continued. “Who he chooses to spend time with.”

“And your metamour?” I said.

“She’s not someone I’d have chosen for him. Not someone I’d choose for myself. Do you know what I mean?”  » Read more

The post “My Partner is a Reflection of Me”: Partner Choice as Self-Referendum appeared first on Poly.Land.

Comfortable Polyamory: The Yoga Pants of Love

Page   March 17, 2017   Comments Off on Comfortable Polyamory: The Yoga Pants of Love

“Polyamory?” I’m sometimes asked. “Isn’t that a lot of hard work?”

And the poly honor student answer goes a little something like this: “Of course it is! But it’s well worth the effort.”

But I’m not much of an honor student. And the truth is? The way I’ve learned to approach polyamory,  » Read more

The post Comfortable Polyamory: The Yoga Pants of Love appeared first on Poly.Land.

Mind the Whiplash: Managing the Stress of Renegotiation

Page   March 16, 2017   Comments Off on Mind the Whiplash: Managing the Stress of Renegotiation

So you’ve taken the leap into polyamory. Worked hard on your insecurities. Found partners to explore relationships with. Heck, you’ve even negotiated effective relationship agreements.

You’re living the dream!

And they all live happily ever after, right?

Well. Not so fast.

It’s very common to find that your relationship agreement works out differently in practice than it did in theory.  » Read more

The post Mind the Whiplash: Managing the Stress of Renegotiation appeared first on Poly.Land.