Monthly Archives: December 2016

PQ 3.2 — Polyamory and Boundaries, First Degree, Second Degree, and Beyond

Page   December 27, 2016   Comments Off on PQ 3.2 — Polyamory and Boundaries, First Degree, Second Degree, and Beyond

PQ 3.2 — Have I sought input from everyone affected? Have I obtained their consent where my decision overlaps their personal boundaries? (Chapter 3 questions are all asked in the context of ones to ask to evaluate whether your choices are ethical.)

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This is truly one of the trickiest parts of polyamory —  » Read more

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Polyamory and Reformed Cheaters: Fessing Up is Hard to Do

Page   December 26, 2016   Comments Off on Polyamory and Reformed Cheaters: Fessing Up is Hard to Do

Polyamory is Harder for Reformed Cheaters

“Polyamory? That’s something that for reformed cheaters, right?”

And I want to say no when people say that, but it’s a great deal more complicated than that.

While there are plenty of people who become polyamorous without ever being physically unfaithful as monogamous people, there are others who did.  » Read more

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Homing Pigeon Primary: Good Things Are Hard to Screw Up

Page   December 19, 2016   Comments Off on Homing Pigeon Primary: Good Things Are Hard to Screw Up

“You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.”

Sara Pascoe, writer and stand-up comic

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“So I know you’ve been asking for an open relationship for an awfully long time,” I said to him.  » Read more

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So You Think You’re Hypersexual: Living Up to the Hype

Page   December 16, 2016   Comments Off on So You Think You’re Hypersexual: Living Up to the Hype

Hype Is Short for Hypersexual

Hey there, I’m hype. That’s short for hypersexual.

You may be familiar with folks who are ace, which is short for asexual. Asexuality awareness has really taken off in recent years, which is a fantastic thing. In basic terms, people who are asexual have no sexual feelings or desire.  » Read more

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The Poly Ventriloquist: Hey, I Taught You That!

Page   December 14, 2016   Comments Off on The Poly Ventriloquist: Hey, I Taught You That!

“I have found that the most difficult and most rewarding challenge of my work is how to be both a mapmaker and a traveler.”

Brené Brown

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I Teach Him to Dirty Talk

“You like that, don’t you?” he says.

It is all I can do not to whip out a clapboard Hollywood style and yell,”Cut,  » Read more

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Goldilocks Love: Not Too Scarce, Not Too Abundant, “Just Right”

Page   December 11, 2016   Comments Off on Goldilocks Love: Not Too Scarce, Not Too Abundant, “Just Right”

“Goldilocks went upstairs, where she found three beds. There was a great big bed, a middle-sized bed and a tiny little bed. By now she was feeling rather tired. so she climbed into the big bed and lay down. The big bed was very hard and far too big. Then she tried the middle-sized bed,  » Read more

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Truth Drip: Titrating How Much We Share and When

Page   December 8, 2016   Comments Off on Truth Drip: Titrating How Much We Share and When

It’s difficult to know how much to share about what goes on (sexually and otherwise) with one of your partners with another. It’s like titrating the truth, just like you would medicine in a hospital — a truth drip.

On the surface, it seems so easy. But you gotta be careful! You can overdose by saying too much or by saying too little.  » Read more

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“I’m Extremely Monogamous”: People Who Don’t Think They’re Poly

Page   December 6, 2016   Comments Off on “I’m Extremely Monogamous”: People Who Don’t Think They’re Poly

“There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.”

Alfred Korzybski

So Monogamous That We Have Lots of Threesomes

“It’s funny. I can’t believe how monogamous we are,” she says.

“Oh?” I ask.  » Read more

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PQ 2.8 — What happens if I connect with someone in a way that differs from how I want my poly relationship to look? What message does that send to someone who doesn’t fit neatly into my dreams?

Page   December 4, 2016   Comments Off on PQ 2.8 — What happens if I connect with someone in a way that differs from how I want my poly relationship to look? What message does that send to someone who doesn’t fit neatly into my dreams?

PQ 2.8 — What happens if I connect with someone in a way that differs from how I want my poly relationship to look? What message does that send to someone who doesn’t fit neatly into my dreams?

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“I’ve been thinking,” I tell him. “That maybe when I get into town full time,  » Read more

The post PQ 2.8 — What happens if I connect with someone in a way that differs from how I want my poly relationship to look? What message does that send to someone who doesn’t fit neatly into my dreams? appeared first on Poly.Land.