Poly/mono relationships, i.e., a relationship between a partner who is monogamous and one who is polyamorous, are notoriously difficult. Traditional poly blogger wisdom points the finger at both parties having to compromise and feeling somewhat shortchanged. The difference between the relationship structures is to blame for the trouble, they write. But I think it’s even simpler than that. » Read more
They tell you never to go the grocery store hungry. You’ll careen the aisles, salivating like a ravenous wildebeest, sweeping entire shelves of food into your cart. And we’re not talking celery sticks. This becomes the time when we see exactly how many metric tons of Doritos we can cram into a shopping cart. And queso. » Read more
“I’m a people pleaser,” they say. “I can’t help myself. When I see someone wants something, I have to give it to them. I need to make people happy.” And it sounds like a good thing, at least on the surface. What could possibly be wrong with people pleasing?
Plenty, it turns out. » Read more
The post People Pleasing & Poly: Resentment and Broken Promises appeared first on Poly.Land.
When you are traversing the wilds of Poly Land, you’ll surely encounter many loving folks. However, not everyone you meet will show their love in the same way. That’s why it’s important to know the poly love languages — not only your own but those of everyone you love. To make this even easier we’ve written another quiz! » Read more
When Skyspook and I married in 2012, it was against an unusual backdrop. I was divorced and had already done the traditional “forsaking all others, til death do us part” wedding ceremony. We all saw how that turned out. I knew this time I wanted to things a little differently and have a polyamorous wedding ceremony. » Read more
I wasn’t the same woman after it happened, after I slept with a bisexual poly woman who wanted me just as much as I wanted her.
She was so incredibly soft. Her body slipped over me like a silk sheet as we rocked together, to waves only we felt.
I swam under her. » Read more
“I need you to come to the office as soon as you can,” my editor said.
“O-o-h okay,” I stammered. After all, the phone call was pretty confusing. Usually he emailed me.
“And bring your tapes,” he said, before hanging up.
I was there within the hour and handed him the cassette tape from my last assignment. » Read more
The post Controlling Through Denial: “That’s Not What I Said” appeared first on Poly.Land.
“I feel like you’re my poly sherpa,”¹ he said.
I flushed. “Hope that’s a good thing.”
“Good? No, it’s great.” He had wanted to try polyamory for a long time, even been in a technically poly relationship, but in name only.
Now he was dating me. I’d been polyamorous for many years. » Read more
The post Poly Sherpa: Guiding (and Sometimes Loving) Beginners appeared first on Poly.Land.
A lot of us are guilty of giving poly honor student answers.
“You’re poly?” we’re asked. “Aren’t you worried about diseases?”
And we answer with the standard-issue Poly Honor Student answer, which goes a little something like this: “Of course we are, but we all practice safe sex and are regularly tested.”
Of course, » Read more
The post Poly Honor Student Answers: Defensiveness and Stigma appeared first on Poly.Land.
Timing is everything in relationships. In monogamous (or serial monogamous) terms, if two people want to date, they must be available at the same time, i.e., not otherwise partnered. Unless of course one or both of them cheat, and deception is not the preferred way to start things off. One would think that this conflict, » Read more