Monthly Archives: February 2012

Sanctuary

Page   February 28, 2012   Comments Off on Sanctuary

The DSM-IV defines a mental disorder as “a clinically significant behavioral or psychological syndrome or pattern that occurs in an individual [which] is associated with present distress…or disability…or with a significant increased risk of suffering.” In short, your idiosyncrasies, your proclivities, your deviance must cause a problem to be a problem. Otherwise, they’re simply quirks. […]

Regrowing My Claws

Page   February 24, 2012   Comments Off on Regrowing My Claws

Before my explorations in kink with Skyspook, there was another man, Ex-Boyfriend in Cleveland. I met Ex-Boyfriend through a girl I was seeing as he was her husband’s best friend and her friend with occasional benefits. I had already become rather curious about the kink scene as a result of the apparent crossover between polyamory […]

Poly Debriefing #3: Don’t Fight the Moonlight, an NRE Survival Guide

Page   February 23, 2012   Comments Off on Poly Debriefing #3: Don’t Fight the Moonlight, an NRE Survival Guide

These days I’m polyamorous in spirit, monogamous in practice. It feels disingenuous to claim that I am one or the other completely. Even though my relationship is monogamous, meaning that we are sexually exclusive, I have learned so much from experiencing polyamorous relationships that I will never be the same person I was before. As […]

Do I Think That Past Trauma Made Me Kinky?

Page   February 21, 2012   Comments Off on Do I Think That Past Trauma Made Me Kinky?

Short answer: No. Long answer: People within the kink community who don’t have histories of childhood trauma and abuse are just as common as those who do. Still, to many, fifty-fifty may seem like a pretty high ratio of individuals with serious emotional baggage when compared to the general population. However, I think this number […]

One Size Fits All

Page   February 20, 2012   Comments Off on One Size Fits All

There was a girl I used to date during my open marriage. One day when we were eating sushi at one of my favorite restaurants, she confessed to me that she was a “chubby chaser” when it came to men. Her fiance (a heavier guy) was fine with her dating me, and she said she […]

How Did I Get Into All This Kinky Shit Anyway?

Page   February 11, 2012   Comments Off on How Did I Get Into All This Kinky Shit Anyway?

It’s a valid question. Once upon a time I was in a vanilla (i.e., non-kinky) monogamous heterosexual relationship. We met through mutual friends, dated for 4 years, and got married. After another 4 years of being together, we opened the relationship up to other people. There was a party we threw back in January 2009 […]

Poly Debriefing #2: More

Page   February 10, 2012   Comments Off on Poly Debriefing #2: More

These days I’m polyamorous in spirit, monogamous in practice. It feels disingenuous to claim that I am one or the other completely. Even though my current relationship is monogamous, meaning that we are sexually exclusive, I have learned so much from experiencing polyamorous relationships that I will never be the same person I was before. […]